A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Uncertainty and Jumping Into the Unknown

Have you ever been on a plane, and suddenly, the plane drops due to turbulence, and you get that sinking feeling? This is followed by thoughts circling your mind, trying to determine if you should be concerned or if those were just everyday bumps in the friendly skies.

If you've ever found yourself in a situation where the path ahead was shrouded in uncertainty, you're not alone. At some point, we all grapple with a decision to move forward despite the unknown outcomes. What propels some of us to take that leap while others remain frozen in fear?

Join me on a journey where we'll explore a step-by-step guide I've developed for myself to conquer uncertainty and embrace the unknown. I hope you'll find something that resonates with your experiences. After all, fear and uncertainty are universal, and they can be powerful catalysts for growth and learning.

Identify what you don't know.

Life can challenge us with pretty big things. When I find myself in a situation where I am uncertain and need to step forward, I have learned that I can best see the whole picture when I look at the entire picture. For example, a vacation excursion that I am afraid of or a life change that presents difficulty and change. When faced with a decision, we often look at what we know and want to decide with as much information as possible. While research is a helpful tool, there are times when we can't gain all the information we need to move forward, so we freeze.

When this happens, I try to imagine what I would want to happen in times of uncertainty. That is, I identify the things I don't know about a situation and say what I want to happen out loud. Instead of stating what I don't want to happen, I tell my brain what I would like to happen, then set it into motion by saying it aloud. Take the vacation excursion, for example; I'm afraid of heights and the feeling that I'm falling. Before I went on a parasailing excursion, I said out loud, I want to overcome this fear and see what this experience is like. This is different than saying, "I'm afraid something terrible might happen, and I wish I weren't scared. "

In the example of a life change, I might say, "I'm curious what opportunities this might present to me," or "This is happening for me, not me." By stating it this way, I'm telling my brain that I want to see what could happen, not avoid what is coming.

Why this matters: Stating into existence what you want to happen, even though you are afraid of it, tricks your brain. When we state the experience we hope to have rather than the one we are fearful of avoiding, our brain doesn't know the difference, and our body follows. We tend to be calmer, more evident in our thinking, and less anxious in fearful situations.

Determine what you can control.

Once I've stated the unknown, I determine what I can control. In reality, fear is simply a concern about a lack of control. Educate yourself about the situation you are uncertain of. What do you know, and what can you learn to feel more comfortable with your next move? You can better identify how you move forward by determining what is in your control: your thoughts, your breathing, and your response to the situation.

For example, I bought my now-husband a flying lesson and told him I would accompany him. At the time, I wouldn't say I liked flying. I cringed every time a plane was turbulent. I needed to overcome this fear, and what better way than to put myself in the scariest situation possible and force myself to do it? Turns out, it was the best decision I could've made.

Before we went up, they required an hour-long course with the instructor to review the ins and outs of what we would be doing that day. I learned a lot about how safe flying is, as well as about turbulence, wing technology, and the physics of flight.

Learning eased my fear of falling out of the sky. It helped me understand more about the plane, so I felt more in control. With a better understanding of bumps and dips, I could then control my thoughts and the potential fears they generated.

Find the experience you want

Over the years, I have realized that it can be challenging to let go and just be, especially when looking to step forward into an unknown or potentially scary situation. I also recognize that life moves fast. We can either be present and experience it or let the moments pass. Either option is acceptable, and I must realize which type of experience I want.

Sometimes, letting the moment pass is okay; others, I jump in simply because I don't want to miss the moment, despite my fear of the unknown. I'm looking at your parasail and ziplining! Finding the experience we want requires us to take an active role in deciding to be present. Understanding that the moment is fleeting and will not be present forever definitely changes how we view the unknown. It minimizes its power and puts the critical factors into focus.

When making hard decisions, I find that imagining I'm on my deathbed and looking back helps me determine whether this decision is the one I want to make. How would I feel about this moment if I didn't do it? How would I think about this moment if I did? The finality of that perspective helps me determine if it is the decision I want to make.

What have I learned?

I firmly believe that our life path is based on our decisions. Each decision has a lesson behind it. Imagine you have two doors in front of you. The one on the right leads to one reality, and the one on the left leads to another. You won't know what each door holds until you go through it, and once you step through, you can't go back. You also can't see what is on the other side until you choose to go through it. The lesson is a part of opening the door and closing it once you walk through. I've made choices in my life I wish I could change. We all have those. However, I wouldn't be who I am without the lessons and experiences I've picked up.

What lessons will you gain when you face the unknown to help guide you? I don't believe in asking "what if?" because no one can answer that question. None of us can tell the future or know what will happen next. As frustrating as it can be, we can't live that way. Find the experience you want to have and let that guide you.

Evolution is a funny thing. We grow, change, and evolve. Who I am today is not the person I was a year ago, five years ago, or ten years ago. Making choices to move into the unknown only furthers that evolution within us. The Next Step Connect blog is an excellent example of my evolution. I was terrified to put myself out there, but I shared my experiences. And here you are, looking for answers on how to continue your evolution.

Seek Support and Advice from Others

Gaining feedback allows us to develop perspective. Listening to others is a way to see our blind spots. Will knowing the unknown help? Not necessarily. Will we always know what to expect when deciding to go in a particular direction? Not hardly. Advice from others is just that. It's advice. Someone shares their experience of the world to give us some context, not to outline what our experience is going to be. That exploration is a part of the fun in life.

Learning from those before us could provide insight and perhaps even protection. Fear is a natural defense mechanism that we all face and must overcome. It is natural to be fearful and even apprehensive. I would be remiss if I didn't think so. However, I believe there is power in understanding and acknowledging our fear of the unknown to move through it or embrace it. If we let the unknown take control over our decisions in life, there is so much more we could miss out on.

Seeking support can give us additional legs to stand on in the face of an unknown future. My parasailing adventure would have been more dramatic if I had not been with my sister-in-law, who was equally terrified of heights. Together, we chose to challenge our fear, and as a result, we became closer.

Support allows us not to feel alone. As social beings, when we feel supported, our ability to overcome obstacles and challenges in life is amplified. Then, we can take action to move forward.

Take Action and Embrace the Process

Moving into the unknown takes a good amount of trust. The little things are always making a difference. We may not see it immediately, but change is happening. If we are all talk and no action, then change will not come. Fear of the unknown can tend to paralyze us in the decision to act. We often don't know what action to take or take no action at all.

Think of a time when you reflected on your life. What did you see? Did you notice all the little things you did along the way? Or did you reflect on all the big moments? Which sticks out to you?

Every big thing that happens to us in life comprises small stuff in the middle. Graduation usually means we have attended every day and worked hard regularly to achieve that level of success. A job offer comes from small steps taken to make the offer even. Buying a home comes from persistence and timing, meeting luck in the middle, and shaking hands. Nothing significant in life happens out of nowhere. Small things build up over time to get us to where we are. There is a process and steps to take.

What if the same were true of facing the unknown? What if a process is already laid out, which we can't readily see but know is present? Would you trust it?

Trusting in the process requires patience and faith. Both are long-game entities, and neither shows its value overnight. Both are complicated, hard, and not always pleasant. By understanding that we need people who support our patience and faith in what is to come, we can confidently step forward into the unknown.

Plant people around you who know what you want in life and will support you. Be selective in who you have in your ear. Is what they say moving you toward or away from who you want to be? If so, how do you find what you need to stand alone? Because achieving the long game in life and facing the unknown are things we will do at some point. It's only a matter of time.

What does your process look like? How does it serve you? How does it connect you with others on the same growth path?

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