Embracing the Journey: Finding Beauty in Every Phase.

Acknowledging the beauty in every phase allows us to share our experiences with others. Finding common ground in these phases fosters deeper connection, whether it is the joy of youth, the challenges of adulthood, or the wisdom of old age.

Where are you? How much attention do you give to where you are now? We want all the good things in life—great relationships, perfect jobs, abundance for ourselves and our families, and flexibility in where we go next. However, we avoid less desirable times, loss, layoffs, instability, and uncertainty. It's often tough times when we appreciate connection with others.

Let's review each phase and how it can bring us closer to others and enhance the human experience. Each phase comes with its share of emotions, enhanced senses, and experience.

Phase One - The Beginning

Let's evaluate what the beginning means. It could mean something different to everyone. Beginnings are full of emotion and anticipation of what is to come.

At the beginning of anything, what emotions are we experiencing? For some, it's fear, anxiety, or excitement. With those emotions, what senses are we using in the moment? It could be sight, smell, sounds, mood, or energy. How do our feelings and senses tie into the experience at the beginning of something?

Take, for example, a family going through transitions. A young person was just accepted into their dream school and will attend orientation soon. The student is just beginning their journey, while the family will start a new life with less of the student. The family as a whole is beginning a new phase.

Phase Two - The In-Between

Next, we go through what I call "The In-Between" phase. A lot will happen in this phase. This can be a significant phase or a relatively small one. Here, we develop our abilities to overcome and work through life's challenges. In the in-between, our emotions might be defined by budding confidence, building a routine, or getting in a groove, just as the family we previously discussed. Each family member has a unique experience to work through. All of these relate to adapting and adjusting to change.

Once we adjust to something new, we get comfortable. Complacency steps in, and she can be tricky. Complacency can impact our emotions and affect our ability to see our reality. It can also mask the real concerns or opportunities. What is complacency anyway? Most definitions identify complacency as a lack of awareness that imminent change or danger is still possible. Why does this matter? Our brains and bodies are designed to protect us. Complacency is kind of like turning that protection switch off.

Returning to our example, students will soon be on a new campus and are excited, maybe nervous, or unsure. They are meeting new people and are hoping for a positive experience. Complacency could cause them to be overconfident that things will go smoothly, impacting their ability to adapt to new situations.

A parent might feel uncertain but want to trust their son/daughter. They could likely have several thoughts, fears, and emotions simultaneously. Deep down, they know life will never be the same. Perhaps complacency could keep them from seeing the excitement of opportunities ahead.

Complacency can cause us to no longer think about our next move, current experiences, or how our habits could impact our future. What does this do to our connections with others? We begin to take our connections for granted. When we are not present and in transition, we are less aware that uncertainty is the beauty of this phase.

The in-between is a vital pit stop; it is the meat of our journey in any phase of life. It helps us identify our path, goals, and what we want from life. Although, like a college student on their first day, it can be hard to take a moment and be mindful of the in-between, it has a powerful way of showing us what is essential. Remember that it is not a permanent phase but an important one.

Phase Three - On to the next

Human nature thrives on consistent routines. We want to have reassurance that life will work out as designed. But things don't progress as they should when the life we are creating is held up by the life we are trying to hold on to. We have to let go.

Phase three: On to the next, fill in the blank. This phase is impossible to get to until we have left the in-between. We can't remain in both. Just as a student going to college can't stay at home for the rest of their life (ok some do, but the majority don't). A parent raising a child can't keep them young forever.

So where is the beauty? In the opportunity, period. The future is not written yet, so phase three allows us to see what could be. It will enable us to envision our lives as we want them to be and propel us forward.

This phase includes growth, change, and evolution. Is it hard to let go? You bet your booty it is. Without growth or change, we will forever be stuck in the in-between phase. So, we are unable to see the full beauty of phase three until we allow ourselves to step into it. Scary as hell, I know, but so worth it.

Once we take that next step into phase three, we are able to see what we couldn't in the in-between phase. We see opportunity and newness. We see that our college students can't develop independence unless they loosen hold of the world they were surrounded by before college. We see the parent who discovers a new part of their life after raising kids or transition more attention to the remaining relationships at home.

These opportunities are not realized until we fully step into phase three. Therefore, the beauty cannot be realized either.

Pulling It All Together

The rear view provides one thing: perspective. Each phase has a different perspective, and we are unable to experience it until we are in it. When we pull each phase together, then we realize the beauty of it all. Life is funny in that way. Deep in the trenches, it is hard to see beyond the trees. But once we are above the trees, we see the forest.

Let's look at our family from the example. The student is learning how to be independent and grow as a young adult. The parent(s) are transitioning to focus on the new environment that surrounds them, whatever that may look like. Yet, both are taking a step forward, beginning something hard, in between what was and what will be, taking the next step onto their new reality. Each phase is beautiful and allows us to gain what we need to move on to the next one. Once we come to a place where we can pull it all together, we are able to see the amazingness. The good, the bad, the tough, and the wonderful. All at one time.

When you get there, you will understand the human experience. How does this apply to connecting with others? Who is in one of these phases with you right now? How many parents do you talk to who are going through it with their kids too? Who do students relate to when going through a tough time at home or school?

We lean on each other to connect in our experience. Whatever phase we are in.

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