The Relationship That Matters Most: Connecting with Yourself
Humans are naturally social beings. We thrive on others and derive our experiences from the environment around us. Sometimes, that obsession with the outside world can lead us to forget the most important one: the connection within ourselves.
Today, we discuss ways our connection to ourselves opens up a whole new world when we truly discover the natural person we are. The conversation we have with ourselves is more powerful than we realize. Our inner monologue can create a narrative that we are not always aware of.
As we delve deeper into our thoughts and self-talk, we see how we treat the most critical person in our lives: ourselves. This realization prompts us to engage in self-reflection, a robust personal growth and self-improvement tool.
As we go on this journey, we begin a relationship with ourselves. We open ourselves up to new ideas and learn more about who we are and the values we hold close. In relationships, trust plays a vital role. It becomes the foundation between two people. We develop confidence in our intuition and internal compass in our relationship. Over time, as individuals, we develop tools to identify our needs and establish boundaries with others. To build trust, some things need to happen. We create honesty, realness, and an unbreakable bond with ourselves through trust.
When we are in a relationship, there comes a point where we have to jump and take a chance. When discussing our relationship with ourselves, we often choose the safer path because it feels known and familiar. We must create a solid foundation for who we are to develop trust within ourselves. As that trust grows, we want to remember that we will have bumps in the road just as we would with another person. Faith in that trust is essential.
Kindness
In moments when we doubt ourselves, kindness can create a safe space. Imagine a pillow that catches your head and softens all the tricky spots as you fall onto it. Think of kindness in the same respect. The softness in our minds catches all the hard edges the world serves us. On a bad day or a harrowing encounter with another person, the kindness we show ourselves can change the impact of our experiences in the world.
Kindness is important and reminds us of our worthiness. The kindness we show ourselves is the key to accepting good in our lives and embracing it when it comes about. Anytime we advise friends, we should repeat that exact advice to ourselves. Our brain doesn't know the difference. Our beliefs are created with the kindness or lack of kindness we show ourselves. Which results in a development of our level of worthiness.
When we can accept kindness within ourselves, we can better accept kindness from others in the world. We also have a more remarkable ability to attract kindness towards ourselves, which allows us to learn and have more grace.
Grace
Grace is essential because it allows us to identify the good without diminishing those who have less. Furthermore, grace requests that we not go overboard and disrespect others' views. An example of this could be seen in competition. Having grace with winning and losing is essential. Everyone wants to win, although only one side can. So, having grace in both respects allows each experience to move forward with respect for the other side.
Grace can impact our internal conversation by reminding us of the respect we deserve in moments of winning or losing. Grace is like the bouncer at the door who does not allow low blows or cheap shots to come through. They aren't productive and only make a mess. We all have failures from time to time. Failure is only feedback. There is usually something to learn when life doesn't go as planned. Grace allows us time to evaluate what that looks like without all the bullies and hecklers in the way.
Picture your mind with grace lining your head, protecting your thoughts from the low blows and hecklers. Imagine what your mind would hear or think if grace weren't there to clean up the trash. It would be hard. How we talk to ourselves and what we tell ourselves about our experience matters. Grace allows that impact to be seen and heard.
Forgiveness
Mistakes are a part of life and must be a part of finding ourselves. We can't learn about ourselves without making mistakes or decisions that don't work for us. The only way we can honestly know who we are and what we want to be is through missteps or choosing the wrong path.
Forgiveness isn't about accepting the wrong decision. It means, "I understand who you were in that decision and recognize that change is possible." When we create a space of forgiveness in ourselves, we allow that part of us to develop and learn from the mistakes and hardships we may have brought to ourselves.
Our first instinct when we make a mistake is, "I should've known." However, that expectation is not realistic in the real world. Allowing forgiveness into our self-talk creates space for learning and growth. Without mistakes, we can't learn and grow from them. This leads to encouragement to take chances, which allows us to have more opportunities to open ourselves up to growth and development.
Forgiveness also creates space for vulnerability or positions of uncertainty. From our internal perspective, vulnerability is like an open wound. We have minimal protection and are opening ourselves up to show what we hold inside. It can be scary and difficult for most to reveal what we hold inside. People often overreact when making mistakes and tighten their wounds to avoid exposing them.
Encouragement
Everyone needs a cheerleader. We often look for someone to encourage us and give us confidence. How can we encourage ourselves? How do we build our confidence? Why is it important?
No one can pull us out of a hole we create. This is why encouragement is so important. We need someone in our corner to pull us out of a funk or bad mood. Our self-talk can be a massive form of internal encouragement and support. It can help develop us into better people.
Demi Lovato's song lyrics from "I Love Me" resonated with how we often treat ourselves.
But I'm an expert at giving love to somebody else
In some cultures, boasting ourselves is seen as inappropriate or self-serving, although often, this is what we need more of to support and love ourselves. The encouragement we give ourselves should be overkill. It should be more than what we usually give to others. No one else will provide that; our most dominant voice is the one in our head. Our brains don't know the difference, so trust that voice and develop it to be a positive one full of encouragement and your biggest cheerleader.
Our relationship with ourselves is the most powerful one we possess. The kindness we show ourselves, the trust we have in our thoughts and self-talk, the encouragement we receive, and the power we receive are undoubtedly the fire that lights us up. Find your voice and teach it to light you up.
Have courage, and take the next step. See you on the other side! If you like this post and want to learn more, visit our website for additional resources or tools to connect with yourself or those you love.
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