Uniting Through Competition: Four Ways We Find Connection

In the early 2000s, a young, unknown girl did her best to get through the day. Her mother had been unable to care for her and her three siblings. During this time, she went in and out of foster care while her extended family worked to support some stability in their lives and eventually adopted them. The girl turned inward and found a strength in herself that would later serve her well.

She became one of the most influential athletes of our time. She would later make a very public and high-pressure decision that would impact the focus and attention of elite sports. Her decision showed her inner strength surrounding mental health and the abrupt decision she made to remove herself from competition amidst a unique and often misunderstood condition. A condition that could put her in potentially dangerous situations in her sport. She did not falter; she stuck to her decision and prioritized her needs. And with that, she inspired young athletes to do the same. By showing her inner strength and resolve, she allowed us to connect with what is fundamental and essential in our lives. Today, we know her as Simone Biles. Typically, she is a jumping, skipping, and hopping badass, competing for USA gymnastics in the Olympics and other international competitions. What Simone did in 2020 connected us to our humanity. It forced the world to reflect on what is most important.

Connection is hard because being human is hard. We are finding fewer ways to connect and, at times, unconsciously avoid connecting because it is hard. Connection can lead to hurt and is not always sunshine and rainbows.

Why is it so hard to be human? Depending on who you talk to, this answer varies. Each of us has experiences we are dealing with; our paths are different, with bumps and bruises that make us who we are. We are constantly processing the world around us while managing our internal response. It can be a lot to deal with.

How does this experience with Simone Biles normalize mental health? Athletes are supposed to be superhuman. They are on a level we all aspire to achieve. Right? Perhaps not always. And that's okay. Simone's example shows us that we are all human at our foundation. So, what draws people to others when we experience competition? What creates sameness when we identify with someone we've never met so much so that we don't feel alone? Simply witnessing one another struggle, overcome, and succeed makes us feel connected. People can recognize, relate to, or understand that moment in themselves. Relating to each other's experiences creates a connection, even if we are not in the same space.

Simone Biles' story is an excellent example of how elite competition can create connection and understanding. Not only does winning create emotional connection, but also, when we fall short of our goals, the rest of the world can relate.

Working towards a goal

Achieving goals takes time and effort. Over time, as we work towards a goal, whether a personal achievement, athletic or not, the continuous effort over time builds gratification in the sole act of continuing forward. Consistent progress matters and creates purpose. Even if the outcome is not what we had hoped.

Shared struggle brings us together. In Simone's example from 2020, so many people felt connected with her struggle and the work she had put in to compete. When the news broke that she would be out of competition, the world slowly began conversing about connection and mental health. Both public and private narratives had people talking about what mattered. So, what brought everyone together?

Being a part of something naturally creates togetherness. It makes conversation and content with opportunities to connect. What does that conversation do for us when people compete on a big stage? Does it bring up goals in our own lives? It puts up a mirror to show what we are capable of in our lives. Witnessing people work towards their goals allows us to think about our own. Seeing hard work play out in competition connects us to what is real and gives us hope in what we want to achieve. Thus, we recognize working towards a goal brings us to a common goal: progress.

Identify with overcoming challenges.

Seeing someone achieve something or miss the mark resonates on so many levels. Competitions such as the Olympics bring us together to witness something extraordinary. It reminds us that we, too, are capable of achievement and the hard work it takes to experience success. My husband always tells me his work as a first responder does not negate the importance of my job as an advisor in higher education. In the same way, amazing athletes' achievements do not negate the achievements in our own lives. If anything, it also helps us meet the demands of challenges.

Creating hope by identifying with challenges connects us in ways we want to bring to light.

Hope pushes people to change or reflect on what they want to improve. Overcoming challenges can inspire in its own right, encouraging us to do more with our lives. By experiencing great moments of achievement together, we are reminded of how resilient humans are. Experiencing these moments shows us what we can overcome and brings to light our ability to bounce back from the hard things in life.

The collective experience of competition also shows us we can have a more significant impact than our own. Perhaps sharing a story of a personal experience inspires a better mindset in someone else. That mindset is shared with the world, thus impacting the larger community in overcoming challenges. Things such as volunteering, getting involved in a campaign, or community programming are challenging and require us to identify the more significant problem and work together to solve it. The ripple effect of connection in these moments is powerful.

The primary key is that life has challenges, and to overcome them, we keep putting one foot in front of the other. We keep playing, continue moving, or making an effort despite the challenges. Connection is also created in these moments, which helps motivate us to overcome. Who do you identify with in competition? In social settings? What have you overcome due to connecting with someone else who inspired your ability to do so?

Celebrate the achievement.

Often, we celebrate the result. We all aspire to be good at something, but does it need to be this fantastic thing that the world sees? Small achievements are just as valuable to our success as the large, obvious ones. When we connect on the small accomplishments, they contribute to the more considerable achievements in our lives over time.

For some, simply being present is an achievement. Back to our example of the Olympics, for most simply, competing and participating is fulfilling a lifelong dream. Seeing people achieve a goal of participating in a highly competitive event can resonate in so many ways. The achievement we tend to When we connect on the small accomplishments, they forget most often is our presence. Being present is a miracle in its own right. To break down the physical achievement of elite athletes is one thing, but to put it in the context of our mere existence is another. So, when we experience greatness, it is easy to minimize the simplicity of our achievements every day.

Celebrating our achievements allows us to reflect on how far we've come. For some of us, the road to achieving our goals is longer than others. Simply taking the next step is an achievement in and of itself. When we truly connect with others, we celebrate our progress. We allow ourselves to celebrate; we express to others that we accept the praise and applause we deserve. And trust me, we all deserve it.

Again, witnessing others' success reminds us that celebrating our achievements can lead to continued success. When we witness this, we are shown what is possible and inspired to continue our growth and progress. In turn, our progress can inspire someone else to continue their progress. Celebrating others' achievements can create connections that inspire and motivate our progress and success. By recognizing that small accomplishments lead to more visible ones, we can connect in our shared success of making progress.

Inspiration to contribute to the big picture.

What does it take to be great at something? Besides a good amount of commitment and hard work, it takes belief—the idea that you can move towards something even when the desired result doesn't seem real. Our brain doesn't know the difference. This resonates with anyone. We all go through the struggle. How does belief resonate and connect with others? Through inspiration to be more than we are.

Think about a time when you considered doing something but didn't take action. What stopped you? How did you feel? What did you tell yourself?

Inspiration is a powerful connection we receive through each other's actions. We see someone act and are motivated to take action in our lives because we want to join in or contribute to that success. So, how do these relate to competition and connection? Small measurable steps, continued effort, and belief. If one of these is missing, the action doesn't take place.

When we witness achievement and success, we witness the measurable steps, continued effort, and belief someone else had for themself. We want to be a part of that experience. We want to have that experience for ourselves. We hear the familiar story of young athletes first inspired by another athlete of their time, and action was taken to achieve greatness. In the early 2000s, it was Michele Akers, Mia Hamm, Carla Overbeck, and Brandy Chastain (the 99's). The phase of life I am in now, my inspiration continues to be my parents and grandparents. Who was your inspiration?

It is amazing to think I've never met some incredible people who have inspired me to be my best. That connection was created through action, which inspired me to believe in myself and achieve my goals. Over time, I have been impacted by more and more people I will never meet but have inspired me to act. That invisible connection is more powerful than we realize. So, how does this apply to your life? Where have you been inspired to act, and what steps have you taken to move in that direction? How does your inspiration connect you with others?

Conclusion

Connection with others is complicated. It's not always easy and can be messy. One thing is accurate: we can identify and relate our lives to the challenges that competition brings. Continued commitment, working towards a goal, overcoming barriers, and celebrating achievement are all parts of life that connect us with others around us. We connect with others through our actions when we act on our inspiration. That connection allows others to be the best version of themselves. We'd love to hear where you have overcome challenges and where connection has supported your progress. Share in the comments below.

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